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Goodbye Florida

I know, I know. You have questions. Did we really say we moved from Florida to a Funny Farm in Iowa? Why in the world would anyone move from Florida to Iowa? According to recent estimates, almost 150 people have been moving to the Tampa, Florida area every single day. For comparison, the population in Iowa may have grown 0.2% in recent years. Are we crazy? Iowa has winter! Is it even possible to grow tropical plants in the Midwest? What about the turmeric? Are we really going to force Little Grump to live somewhere so cold? Why would we do something that almost nobody else is?

Those are all valid questions. I will attempt to answer them all in this post. Many of these questions danced through my thoughts that last night in Florida, as I watched the sunset dip beneath the banana trees on my fence line.

From Florida to the Funny Farm

Mini with plants

Why would we leave Florida? Our entire (large) porch was at maximum capacity for plants. And I don’t mean max capacity for an aesthetically pleasing outdoor area. The porch was a crammed mess, to which Mr. Grump can attest. I had more turmeric rhizomes (from last winter’s harvest) than I had room to grow. Due to the volume of plants, we had no space for outdoor activities… other than watering plants. Mr. Grump and I had been looking for affordable land for a while, but prices skyrocketed over the past couple years. An older property near ours with an outdated house and one acre of land sold for three quarters of a million dollars. At that point, I realized we would need to look outside the Tampa area for an acreage.

There were other important factors, too. Little Grump’s birth led us to want to move closer to family and we couldn’t convince any of them to move to Florida near us. Additionally, we had been growing tired of the daily grind and were looking for new career opportunities. I had interviewed for a few positions, but none seemed quite right. I unexpectedly received a call from my old undergrad for a faculty position, and this was the catalyst for our move.

The journey from Florida to the Funny Farm was quite eventful. If you’ve ever tried to sell a house that you are living in while buying property out of state, you can relate. The realtor we hired to sell our Florida home was not impressed with the plant porch, so I had to sell many plants quickly. The Tampa plant community did not disappoint, and turned out in great numbers to purchase discounted rare plants. I am still grateful for this. Additionally, two of our cars broke down the week prior to the drive. My beloved Mini stopped running the day before Mr. Grumpy Pants was scheduled to drive her to Iowa. (More about his adventure in our next post, “The Trip”).

The House

Iowa Farmhouse, built in 1890

After an eventful trip, we arrived at our “new” 1890 farmhouse. The kitchen faucet leaked. The air conditioner leaked, and a small stream meandered the basement. The upstairs smelled strongly of a specific weed that one might smoke. Steep stairs meant anything large could not be taken upstairs or into the basement. Most windows did not open. The closing agent didn’t even know which keys opened the doors, as the previous tenants apparently did not ever lock them. The back yard contained a crude, hand-painted grave stone. We hoped it was for a dog and not a previous owner.

In short, an agent might say the house “had potential.” In short, it was perfect. It was perfect because it could be fixed and we had fallen in love with the land.

The Funny Farm

We were thrilled to check out the land area and get a feel for the space of 2 acres. The front yard contained several mature oaks and maples. We learned the maples can be tapped for syrup. The back yard had a sand box, several more mature trees, two small garages, a shed, and a dog run. Said shed was full of planters and other gardening supplies. Behind the main yard was a chicken coop and small barn, which likely housed goats or sheep in the recent past. A bit further back was a small raised garden bed, a picnic table, and some old chairs around a metal fire pit. Finally, there were two large fenced areas for small livestock, or playing hide-and-seek in prairie grass, depending on one’s preferences. On this land we plan to update and expand Grumpy Pants Plants’ offerings.

Future Plans

So what’s first? Now that we’ve moved in and have started our “normal” jobs, we have the following list of priorities:

THIS FALL:
1. Fix the leaky kitchen faucet
2. Replace leaking hvac system
3. Decrease the weed/smoke smell upstairs
4. Plant apple and plum trees for a small orchard
5. Repair chicken coop/barn to make livable for animals
6. Secure necessary permits for greenhouse
7. Purchase grow tent for surviving Florida plants

UPCOMING SPRING:
1. Till large garden for native vegetables/fruits
2. Repair fences to ensure safety of humans and animals
3. Plant the large garden and additional fruit trees/bushes
4. Choose some chickens!

Anything you think we should add to this list? Feel free to comment below!

Want to purchase any of our fresh produce? You can find us at the Orange City, IA farmer’s market this summer (2023). We plan to have fresh vegetables, fruits, mushrooms, and herbs available this season. We’ll also be selling extra produce at our road market stand in Alton. Feel free to reach out if you’re looking for anything in particular! We can be reached at [email protected].

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